I love mysteries. From the time I began reading on my own, I gravitated toward mysteries: first Nancy Drew, then Agatha Christie, Edgar Allan Poe, Arthur Conan Doyle. My husband and I continue to read and watch mysteries covering topics from historical to crime to espionage. Maybe my penchant for asking “Why?” is at the root of this affinity. The challenge of figuring out a conundrum and the satisfaction when the mystery is finally solved. Continue reading “MYSTERIOUS WAYS”
What does the acronym HALT mean? And why is it an important part of a recovery plan? Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired: these are warning signs, red flags. HALT is a tool to remind us to stop – halt – and take a moment to listen to what our emotions and body are telling us.
I am not an alcoholic or addict – you may not be either. So why did I use ‘us’ as I wrote this blog? Because all of us are subject to these basic needs – human needs – and if they are not met, we will instinctively search until we find a way to have them fulfilled. Our responses may not be as self-destructive as an addict or alcoholic, but they will affect our relationships in one way or another. Let’s be careful to not make such a wide differentiation between addicts / alcoholics and us: the ‘us vs them’ mentality that makes ‘us’ superior and ‘them’ inferior.
Hungry. This can be physical, emotional, or spiritual hunger. Physical hunger is fairly easy to satisfy, but for many addicts, getting nutritional meals can be a struggle. Yet it is still easier than getting the affection and understanding that is even more vital to our well-being. This is why a strong support system is so important – and must already be in place before a time of need. Attending meetings is good, but being part of a small group is even more critical.
Angry. This is a normal human emotion. The key is to self-assess and decide why we are angry and what we can do about it. If the issue is out of our control or we aren’t ready to confront it, we look for other ways to release the anger. Exercising, meditation and prayer, and creative outlets can help, as is having a trusted friend or counselor to discuss our feelings with. Whatever we do, denying or repressing anger will not be healthy for us long term.
Lonely: We can be lonely in a crowd or in our room. It is a sense of being isolated, not understood, not appreciated, fearful. Withdrawing feels safe when we are overwhelmed or anxious, but for many addicts it can lead to relapse. I will never forget a conversation with our son when he said “I hate being alone”. I was shocked because he had always been more of an introvert than our daughter. But once he was addicted to opioids, I think the isolation that occurs while using became like prison to him. Perhaps it made him feel less ‘normal’, which he wanted so badly to be. A healthy relationship where we feel safe reaching out to in times of need will make all the difference.
Tired: We all get out of sorts when we are tired. When our lives are filled with activities such as work, school, family, meetings, our need for rest gets pushed to the side. But it is not healthy for us physically, spiritually, or emotionally and it affects our ability to reason and cope with difficulties. Relapse is just around the corner unless our body and mind are restored. It may be hard and uncomfortable to say we need a break to get some sleep, but it will benefit us and it is critical to maintaining sobriety.
Self-awareness and self-care are not self-ish, as many of us were taught when we were growing up. They are vital steps to help maintain a life on the path of recovery and will not only benefit us, but all our relationships.